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Joke of the Day
"I watched Al Jazera and was very disappointed. Not nearly enough music from the 1920s."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock. [My C#@&] Who's there? Mike. Mike Who?! Mike Och"
"I'm sorry, what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullsh*t."
"I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready."
"I got an empty fortune cookie the other day. It was unfortunate."
"It's 11:48 PM. You can't sleep. Underneath your bed, there's a creepy rustle, as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a granola bar."
"I just saw some pictures of Ray Rice's wife for the first time... she's a real knock out."
"I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems"
"In his new book of poems, John Ashbery rhymes ""coagulate"" with ""indeed."" It's like he's not even trying."
"I don't mean to brag, but instead of teaching a man how to fish, I just gave him a bunch of things to do when life hands him lemons."