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Joke of the Day

"Notice how ""me"" comes first in merge? There's a reason for that."

"Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face."

"Just bought some shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Our wifi is down and I had to fap using only my imagination like some kind of savage :("

"Yo mama's so fat Her nose can't even run Came up with this myself and was quite proud"

"How come ambassadors never get sick? They have diplomatic immunity."

"Sometimes I'll tell my wife the car is making a weird noise and I need to listen just so I don't have to hear her talk."

"A one-liner based on what happened to me at work. An insect landed in my beverage, now I'm feeling a bit fly-tea."

"If electricity is always directing itself to the least resistant, where would it go? The French"

"Why are there no owls here? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters"