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Joke of the Day

"How come ambassadors never get sick? They have diplomatic immunity."

"An Irishman, a Scotsman, and an amnesiac stumble drunkenly into the road. The Irishman nearly escapes a speeding car, but the Scotsman isn't so lucky, and gets hit by the car and dies."

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef"

"How do you get your dog to come? Fuck it."

"Dad and son A son asks his father ""Why does my bum hurt"" while the father replies ""Because I love you son"""

"Why didn't the shrimp share his food?? He was a little shellfish"

"My Welsh mate was found dead yesterday. He died the way he would have wanted to go... He passed away peacefully in his sheep"

"Knifes Last night someone cut my power so I took out my knife and badly injured them. I guess you could say I was taking a stab in the dark. I'll be here all night"

"The bunnies near my house are laying the smallest Easter eggs ever, and frankly they taste awful!"

"If I wake up early, it's only because there are a lot of things I want to eat that day."