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Joke of the Day
"Why don't dairy farmers wear flip flops? Because they lactose."
Next Joke
"Dance like theres no tomorrow OH MY GOD THERES NO TOMORROW WHY ARE WE DANCING"
"When she found the ring in the spaghetti she said yes, but the more rings she found the madder she got, and eventually she changed her mind."
"Why couldn't the retarded man talk normally? He was trying to hold the door"
"If a red man lives in a red house, a blue man lives in a blue house..... a green man lives in a green house. Then who lives in the white house? A black man"
"Goldman Sachs is trimming bonuses. Conan O'Brien's payout is only $32 million. Anyone know where we can text-message our donations?"
"What happened to the horse that ate a duracell battery? He went on furlong-er."
"[Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it"
"I don't always roll a joint... ...but when I do, it's an ankle."
"So two baby seals walk into a club"