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Joke of the Day

"do you like dragons? because you'll like it when im dragon my balls across your face"

"Why did Kim Jong Un's father go to hospital? He was Kim Jong Il"

"[talking to my guide dog] this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again [from a nearby speaker] ""FIFTEEN-LOVE"""

"Women say men get turned on when they nibble on their earlobes. I think it's bollocks. - Jimmy Carr"

"Stalin's political career didn't really take off, until he played the trump card -Seize the means of reproduction!"

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"I thought the girl at my bus stop thought I was sweet but apparently that's not what she meant by ""un-savory"""

"I just saw a documentary about how ships are held together. Riveting."

"What's the difference between a scaffold and a magnet? A magnet only has two Poles."

"Q: Why is air a ton like sex? A: Because it's no major ordeal unless you're not getting any."