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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is air a ton like sex? A: Because it's no major ordeal unless you're not getting any."

" Taken Single Depends on how drunk I am."

"Where do you buy a baby? Hole Foods."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench... when a little boy, around 9 years old passes them by. ""Wanna fuck him?"" asks the priest. ""Out of what?"" the rabbi replies."

"Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED"

"A friend once asked if I wanted to hear a racist joke... Her: Wanna hear a racist joke? Me: Sure. Her: Howe Luong is a Chinese man. It took me all day to get that one."

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... ...on six months of sobriety."

"I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from ""Married"" to ""It's Complicated."""

"I never knew Godwin's law was in the English Oxford dictionary.. What a bunch of language fascists. edited: grammar Nazis"

"comic sans divorce papers"