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Joke of the Day

"The wife of my friend is not a woman to me. But if she's pretty he's not my friend."

"What do you call an armless obese jew? Names."

"What do you call all of Trump's failed businesses arranged in a circle? Orange"

"ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments"

"I could be way funnier with like, 143 characters to work with."

"What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !"

"Why does nobody like eating with Lionel? Because he is a Messi eater!"

"Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes I'm no good at math!"

"I think the saying ""every man for himself"" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches"

"Lebron's life is like one big compass... He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West."