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Joke of the Day

"ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments"

"What idiot called it a book shelf instead of a know ledge?"

"What do they call Peter Pan in China? Peter Wok"

"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back."

"Last week I was with a midget prostitute. I payed her $20 to go up on me."

"Why did the kitchen cross the road? Because there was a woman on the other side."

"Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a karate expert? A: A pork chop."

"Was going to rob a bank today, but the pen was chained to the desk."

"It's hard to get a lot done when you're busy having a snack every 15 minutes"

"Whoever got my Steam account for Christmas plz realize those Japanese dress up games are for research only, I don't enjoy them. Plz understa"