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Joke of the Day

"SEX DICK: What's ur favorite planet? VAG: URANUS!!!!"

"I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first."

"Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love, I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test."

"Dave is coming over. Dave from work or loud and obvious Dave? Outside: THIS RAIN HAS MADE ME WET. I AM WEARING PANTS. MY EYES ARE BLINKING."

"""I was gonna go and save the princess, but then I got high.."" - Super Mario"

"Chuck Norris already counted up to the infinite... Two times."

"What happened when the carrot died? There was a huge turnip at the funeral."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge? Tequila"

"Relationship status: my period comes more often than I do."

"Why must you be religious to join the Navy? Because it's a place of war ship."