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Joke of the Day

"I remember my first internet boyfriend. I was 13, he was 55. <3"

"If it's true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff."

"I just found out my mum didn't know how to set the clock on their new microwave. So they stayed up until midnight & then plugged it in"

"The guys at Futurama really didn't do their research... Vice President Agnew was at lest a head taller than depicted!"

"Where did Suze go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"(Sigh) How I miss those good old days... Alas, my good old days of ""morning wood"" have been replaced by ""morning wouldn't."""

"Why didn't Stalin look both ways before he crossed the road? He was rushin'"

"[pearly gates] st peter: welcome everybody- *i run up and slam dunk an imaginary ball thru his halo and then hang on it like it's the rim*"

"What do you call a food that turns black people on? An *afro*-disiac."

"Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34."