128581
Joke of the Day
"A man walks into a bar And the bar happened to be at crotch level and it hurt like a motherfucker"
Next Joke
"We're celebrating Thanksgiving the old fashioned way at my place this year By inviting our neighbors over to eat and then killing them and taking their land"
"I saw a kid pretending to be a dinosaur by himself today... He looks lonely so I decided to go and join him. After a while, his mother came by and told me off. Turns out he had Cerebral Palsy."
"*interrupts friends* ""u gotta hear this tweet..Ok.."" *realizes tweet starts with 'action asterisks' & doesnt know how to read that out loud*"
"In New York, yelling at someone is demeaning it's de meaning of being a New Yorker!"
"The best way to get over a cold is to get a younger hotter cold"
"""should i go into the arts?"" ""can you imagine yourself doing anything else?"" ""no"" ""then i wouldn't go into the arts, with no imagination"""
"Don't you just hate it when you finally get the courage to confess your love to someone and they just stare at you, meow and walk away."
"Freudians suck I used to be a neo-freudian, until I took ap psychology, (jung and horney)"
"My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are But I laugh more."