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Joke of the Day
"In New York, yelling at someone is demeaning it's de meaning of being a New Yorker!"
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"[watching ""Cinderella""] 5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors? Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba."
"Egg and a sausage sizzling away in a frying pan The egg says ""fuck me its hot in here"". The sausage goes ""fuck me, a talking egg!"""
"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."
"A blonde was attempting to swim across the English channel. But she got tired halfway, and swam back."
"What do you call someone who raises the dead by giving them hickeys? A Neckromancer"
"What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !"
"I can't believe that those two are still together after all that shit..."
"What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller"
"My girlfriend says she's leaving me because I'm obsess with football In my defence I got Kolarov,Otamendi,Thiago Silva and Dani Alves"