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Joke of the Day

"Freudians suck I used to be a neo-freudian, until I took ap psychology, (jung and horney)"

"Yesterday I held a door open for a clown... I thought it was a nice jester."

"We don't have a chimney but I've assured my children that Santa and anyone else could easily sneak into our home at night."

"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."

"Why does black lives matter affect the postal service? They have white mail privilege."

"Q: How do astronomers organize a party? **They planet.**"

"If you're worried about not getting a New Year's Eve kiss this year, just remember Valentine's Day is coming up and you're probably going to be alone for that, too."

"Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours."

"What was wrong with Genghis Khan's new suit? There was a chink in his armor."

"I invented papaya flavored cream cheese. I call it ""Pap Schmear""."