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Joke of the Day

"The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am. Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule."

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend invited me to have some cyber-sex... I thought it was gonna be just some us time but it turned out it was a 4G!"
"Never marry a tennis player... Love means nothing to them."
"What's the difference between harry potter and jews? Harry escaped the chambers."
"Whats the most common work of fiction? The average persons resume"
"I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me."
"Yo moma is so... good looking, what happened you? edit: premature ejokulation"
"I went to the Zoo today, only animal there was a dog... It was a Shih Tzu"
"A Higgs boson walks into a church, ""We don't allow Higgs bosons in here!"" shouts the priest. ""But without me, how can you have mass?"" asks the particle."
"A Atheist, a Vegan and a Marine An atheist, a vegan and a Marine walk into a bar. How do you know that one of them is a Marine? Don't worry he'll let you know"