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Joke of the Day

"Why did the prostitute had a second vagina transplanted on her hip? So she could make money on the side."

"Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? Because she didn't like his lack of commitment"

"Me: This is a nice, quiet neighborhood. Real estate agent: This is a cemetery. Me: I'll take it."

"What's the difference between a joke and a religion? Jokes are rarely offered as an excuse for civilised people to kill other people."

"If I was in a room with Trump and HRC....... and I had a gun and one bullet.... I'd shoot myself in the head...."

"interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd"

"What is Mexico's National Sport? Cross-Country"

"Did you hear that great joke about Schrodinger's cat?"

"I don't think Twitter's real. I think I'm in a mall in 1987 listening to ""I Think We're Alone Now"" & my mind invented Twitter to protect me."

"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."