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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a joke and a religion? Jokes are rarely offered as an excuse for civilised people to kill other people."

Next Joke
 
"How do you separate Greek men from Greek boys? With a crowbar."
"This homeless guy asked me for money, I was like ""I don't think so, not with that ugly voice"""
"What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States? We wouldn't have to pay her as much."
"Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?"
"Ever have sex with a schizophrenic? It's fucking crazy."
"Why did sexually aroused man go to a gay parking lot To rear end everyone"
"Hey tampon makers, can I get a silent tampon wrapper please? Sounds like I'm opening a bag of Sun Chips up in here."
"Sorry, I can't make it. Can't find my ""goin out"" sweatpants."
"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"