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Joke of the Day

"I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed"

"I don't like when they use ""late"" to describe a deceased person. It's like give a guy a break on his attendance, he's dead."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's not a full essay."

"She died doing what she loved: Running for her life in the wrong direction."

"How many people from Brazil does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A Brazilian!"

"Best goldfish joke ever told Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"*sees lost cat* Hey buddy you lost *reads tag* there's a phone number *dials number* *little cell phone in cats pocket starts ringing*"

"I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything... ...trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."

"Conversation between a politician and prostitute Politician : Hi, I'm 52. I am a politician and I am honest. Prostitute : Hi, I'm 27. I am a prostitute and I am virgin."

"What do broccoli and sex have in common? NSFW If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult."