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Joke of the Day

"MORON Q: Why did the moron throw the butter out the window? A: He wanted to see a butterfly."

"What's the difference between a ladder and a truck? It's no bad luck to walk under a truck."

"Necrophilia The insatiable urge to crack open a cold one"

"My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life."

"I am fresh out of milkshakes, but I'm pretty sure that my willingness to put out on the first date will bring all the boys to the yard."

"I hear Bristol Palin is pregnant again... Ever since Trig was born, she's been Down to fuck."

"I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds.""... I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds."" ""Don't you mean dollars?"" she replied. ""I know what I mean,"" I said."

"How is Trump vs. Clinton like Godzilla vs. Mothra? No matter who wins, the city will be destroyed."

"Customs officials in Europe recently seized a shipment of cocaine that was addressed to the Vatican. Which can only mean that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford just received a giant box of communion wafers."

"Why did the boy stare at his orange juice for so long? Because it said, Concentrate."