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Joke of the Day

"When they say, ""life is like a box of chocolates"", what they really mean is, ""life is like a box of shit disguised as chocolates""."

"I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she's gained weight."

"9/11 Must have been an inside job It totally deserved 10/11 stars"

"Why does the hobo only drink coffee? Because he has no proper tea! Hehehhehahahahhhehveahhs"

"Grabs intercom: ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA, STAY HERE! WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS"

"I would tell a funny science joke... but all the good ones Argon."

"Talking too much is a sign of insecurity. So is keeping too quiet. So is breathing and having been born a human."

"What's colder than ice cream? ISIS"

"I don't understand why Taylor Swift has removed all of her music from streaming services You can stream Taylor Swift anytime you want just by turning on the radio"