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Joke of the Day

"Not rewinding VHS movies after watching the nude scenes was the original not clearing your browser history."

"What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ? One is a weak one and the other one week !"

"Beyonce's hair is always blowing because she has so many fans"

"Why was the manipulative ghost so unsuccessful? People could see right through him."

"a sphincter says what? pants up, dont poop."

"Astronaut: Dave, that's not necessary in zero-G. Penguin: [flapping wings] Just let me have this."

"What's a mobster porn actress called? Sunny Corleone!"

"People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them."

"What's the difference between hanging with friends and jacking it on the toilet? One means you're taking a load off and shooting the shit, the other is taking a shit and shooting a load off."

"Me: Wake up son! Son: Just 30 more minutes please Me: I'm borrowing your phone Son jumps of the bed: I'm awake!"