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Joke of the Day

"Not rewinding VHS movies after watching the nude scenes was the original not clearing your browser history."

"I fired my masseur today. He just rubbed me the wrong way."

"Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly? They want to finish before it's cool."

"A red piller, an MRA, and a gamergator walks into a bar The bartender asks him to leave because bars are 21+ Credit: /u/reese_ridley"

"All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards. It was difficult to deal with."

"What do boobs and margaritas have in common? One is not enough and three is to many"

"Why do pediatricians get so frustrated? They have very little patients."

"TIL that .15% of subway sandwiches are made incorrectly on the first try Whoops sorry sir, wrong sub!"

"Did you hear about that new movie ""Constipation?!"" It still hasn't come out!"

"Just beat Guitar Hero on expert in case anyone is looking for a virgin to sacrifice before midnight."