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Joke of the Day

"Even after repeated search attempts, the atom couldn't find its lost electron... Yet, on the brighter side, it remained positive."

"Why did Jared vote for gore in the 2000 election? Jared doesn't care for bush"

"Polish math prodigy Knock knock! Who's there? Polish math prodigy with slurred speech. Polish math prodigy with slurred speech who? Toomasz Whizzski"

"If you love someone, set them on fire. If they come back, it's a phoenix"

"Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany? Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!"

"A dad walks in on his son watching porn. The son says, ""Well, at least you know I'm straight, dad."" The dad says, ""Not after tonight, son."""

"Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Mom: *gasp* Dad: *clenches fists* Mom: Honey, stop! Dad: *steps forward* Mom: N- Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD."

"The thing that makes learning how to use chopsticks so difficult is that the longer you use them, the soggier your cereal gets."

"Just in case the FBI turns on my web cam, I've got a teeny tiny picture of Jimmy Hoffa taped to the lens."

"The most embarrassing thing about mistaking pilates class for pirates class is concealing my musket."