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Joke of the Day

"Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Mom: *gasp* Dad: *clenches fists* Mom: Honey, stop! Dad: *steps forward* Mom: N- Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD."

"why are black people fast? all the slow ones are in jail"

"I'm too immature for adultery."

"I've often wondered, how do devout Christians handle being raped? Y'know, with that whole ""turn the other cheek"" thing?"

"What is the funniest two legged lizard? The stand-up chameleon."

"How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'"

"What do you call an elf singer? Elvish Presley"

"My belly is fat My brain has delay. You guessed it right. I'm from NA."

"I will never forget what my grandad said just before he kicked the bucket. He looked me dead in the eye and said. ""Wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"""

"What did Gimli say when his wife wasn't in the mood for sex? ""You're going to have to toss me"""