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Joke of the Day

"I shot my first turkey today... ..It sure scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section"

"on fire The chief of the fire department walks into the room where the other firemen wait and says: ""Take it easy boys, the Tax Office is on fire."""

"How do you make an Italian plumber cry? You kill his family"

"Death is coming to take a lawyer away The lawyer is weeping, ""why now? I am only fourty!"" Death replies, ""not according to the hours you billed your clients""."

"Two hunters were driving down a narrow two lane road in an off-road jeep, and saw a sign that said 'Bear Left'... They turned around and went home."

"A surgeon accidentally removed a women cancerless breast.... Sounds like it was a mastec-to-my"

"Q. Why do bakers work so hard? A. Because they need the dough"

"""I'm never gonna do THAT again!"" ~ Me, about things I'll continually do... Again"

"Now I know why Charlie Sheen was always Winning... ...he was just being positive."

"[space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: ""we should've taken our own"" astronaut holding net: ""just keep looking"""