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Joke of the Day
"You've got to hand it to short people. Because sometimes they can't reach."
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot af, overpriced and all over me within 30 seconds of getting in the car."
"Girl: My GrandFather Lived For 96 Years & He Never Used Glasses. Boy: Yeah I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle."
"When I see a self-help book at a secondhand store, I wonder...does that mean it worked, or it is bullshit?"
"Why do so many dyslexic vegans move to Dallas? For the Sallad"
"What's the worst thing about being a gynecologist? You can't eat on the job."
"*interrupts parent & child on bus* Actually thats not true, Wolverine has died many times *they get up* Your mother cant shelter you forever"
"What do nutrition labels and tumblr have in common? They're both full of trans fats"
"If Obama had run against a cop in the 2012 Presidential Election... He would have got beaten."
"Child: Dad, I don't like the goldfish... Dad: Shut up and eat your dinner."