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Joke of the Day

"Your mama is so stupid... ...during the first ultrasound, she asked her OB/GYN if the baby was hers."

"What do you tell a pornstar right before their video to pump them up? Get your head in the game."

"If the secret ingredient in Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte was the tears of underprivileged children, white people would still drink it."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."""

"What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man? A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)"

"Life is like a box of chocolates, once you have kids it's gone."

"Why can't Mexicans bow hunt? 'Cause they don't Habanero!"

"I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was."

"How does a physicist milk a cow? First, he assumes the cow is a sphere."

"My mom told me not to kill the spider but to take it out... so I did, we had a few drinks, top lad he is..currently working as a web designer."