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Joke of the Day

"My mom told me not to kill the spider but to take it out... so I did, we had a few drinks, top lad he is..currently working as a web designer."

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"Newtonian physics are a good approximation for big objects that move slowly Like your mom"
"With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too."
"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? a Roman Catholic."
"Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll ""Let it go! Let it go!"" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew."
"Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back..."
"I'm straight, but I'm not ""wouldn't spoon with George Clooney"" straight."
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Stab in and thrust up."
"Tried to catch fog today. Mist."
"That awkward moment when you're in a meeting and your stomach decides to sound like a dying whale."