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Joke of the Day

"Hezbollah put out a new Moisturiser... 100% Shi'a butter."

"What's in a white mans pants and more than 4 inches long? Nothing"

"Monday morning, still sore from my run and all I have at work is acetaminophen, meaning if I take it I can't drink until like 11AM."

"What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw."

"Did you hear about the blond who got pregnant? She wasn't sure if the baby was hers!"

"Grandad: hey Sonny, what's the name of that German? Grandson: for the thousandth time grandad, it's Alzheimer"

"The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac. **There is no escape.**"

"Why did god give Marines one more IQ point than he gave to horses. So they won't shit during parades."

"One plus of being a fast walker is that when I'm forced to walk slowly with another person, I can pretend I'm on the moon"

"Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They've never known what home is."