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Joke of the Day

"Reenacting the Civil War seems like a lot of work. I'd much rather reenact the Cola War from my couch. First is the battle of Whiskey."

"What do you call a slutty housewife? A dirty dishwasher."

"I still have a lot of teen angst You wouldn't understand"

"What was the pig doing in the kitchen? Bacon! Get it?"

"*sees a tweet i don't like from a person i follow voluntarily on a free website* I am entitled to compensation"

"Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!"

"i don't think i can go back to a white president"

"my glass eye is freaking you out? sorry I didn't real eyes."

"There's a website you can use to see if your family is racist. It's called Facebook"

"There is a fine line between ""important to me"" and ""dead to me."" Don't walk it."