199514

Joke of the Day

"Warning, you'll only get this if you understand a rudimentary amount of ancient Greek. When an ancient Athenian was asked whether he preferred the sand or the sea, he replied: Tha latta"

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"As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku."
"irony - Using words to mean the opposite of their literal meaning. ironey - Made of iron."
"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."
"Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone"
"Why couldn't the little mermaid get into college? Her GPA was unda da C."
"At this point, it's kind of embarrassing if your pet isn't a YouTube sensation."
"My son asked me what language they speak in England. This would have been cute if he wasn't 20 ... And in college."
"My Aunt Rosie has sent me so many Candy Crush invites that I've legitimately stopped loving her"
"I went to the doctor the other day wearing nothing but clingfilm ....... I sat down, the doctor turned and looked at me to say ""Clearly I can see your nuts!"""