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Joke of the Day

"Movie idea: A drunk passes out next to Picasso. He wakes up to find a drawing of a dick on his face worth $1 million. Does he wash it off?"

"Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean... ba-dum tshh"

"Why do Jews have big noses? Why not? Air is free anyway!"

"Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly - autocorrect"

"Duct tape is like the Force... ...there's a light side and a dark side, and it keeps the Universe together."

"What did one amputee say to the other? I'm as stumped as you are!"

"What do priests and McDonalds have in common? Both stick their meat into ten-year-old buns."

"If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot."

"If you love someone, just tell them. Or get drunk and ""Like"" a whole bunch of their stuff on Facebook in a short period of time.....same shit."

"Need a joke to tell my Public Speaking class this Monday.. Can be as crude as you want, but no racist or sexist jokes."