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Joke of the Day

"""Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated"" - how a kid talks shit in 2015"

"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"

"A Cop, Indian, GI, Construction Worker and a Cowboy walk into a bar... Am I in the wrong place or are they?"

"Why do pigs have flat snouts? From running in to trees."

"Hey, have you heard about.... A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated."

"What do you call an introspective monk? A deep friar."

"It's not true that a married man will live longer than a single man It just seems longer"

"I seen twins hugging I told them to get a womb"

"Michael Cera, too timid to send his food back even though he's allergic to almonds, eats a meal and politely goes into anaphylactic shock."

"What's the the key to telling an ISIS joke? The execution."