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Joke of the Day

"Lance Armstrong, Oscar Pistorius, Tiger Woods all sponsored by Nike. Perhaps they should change there slogan to ""Don't do it!"""

"If you can't hang Don't be a runaway slave"

"Stop saying ""I Wish"" and start saying ""I Will""."

"Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. ."

"The tip of my tongue is sore, and I just can't think of why that is."

"If I had a dollar for every time I fell for a tweeter instead of a real person, I could pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need."

"At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, ""Make it 52"""

"How do tree surgeons live? Life on the hedge!"

"What is the historical significance of Sir George Stokes? He was a seminal fluid dynamicist."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change !"