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Joke of the Day

"Fruits are single-handedly keeping the sticker industry afloat."

"I'm sick of women staring at my spaceship. It's like, HELLO, my tentacles are up here!"

"A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in."

"Don't you hate it when... ....You're giving a handjob to another guy and he turns out to be a gay ass fagot."

"Boy the things I did to that tirimisu were obscene! It was sort of embarrassing when they asked me to go back to my own table though."

"Ultracrepidarianism is the habit of giving opinions & advice on matters outside one's knowledge or competence. Or, as I call it, tweeting."

"Now, if we could only get some white smoke to come out of the White House's chimney."

"If South Carolina is the Game Cocks Their offensive line would be the cock blockers"

"Why do Vampires hate Writers? Because they hate Type O's"

"Been doing a lot of gay clubbing recently The baby seals put up less of a fight though..."