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Joke of the Day

"""I was going to attend the clairvoyants meeting..."" ""...but it was canceled due to unforeseen events."""

"What's the difference between men and women when it comes to drinking? My boys drive me to drink, but women drive me to drink."

"The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home."

"*skips away in terror"

"Rest in peace, boiling water. You shall be mist."

"Why did the Atheist fail algebra? He didn't believe in higher powers."

"Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs."

"Have you heard about the Rwandan massacre? They don't know Hutu blame."

"At what time does Sean Connery arrive at The Wimbledon? Tenish..."

"Men are like parking spots... The good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."