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Joke of the Day

"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"

"What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizzas didn't scream when Hitler put them in the oven."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything."

"Hub: Let's go see a movie Me: Ok. How bout this one? *points* H: Why do we have to see a movie with subtitles? I didn't do anything wrong."

"Person: I like your name. Me: thanks, I got it for my birthday"

"I hate people who love anal sex They're all fucking assholes"

"Mary and Joseph watch the 3 wise men leave M: I can't believe they went off the registry. J: I know! Even the son of god needs burp cloths."

"That moment when... ...you're on reddit too much and you say repost too often."

"I changed my major from being an actuary. I just couldn't handle the risk."