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Joke of the Day
"Silence is golden but duct tape is silver."
Next Joke
"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to beat the room for being black."
"I told my therapist that no one understands me... She said, ""What do you mean by that?"""
"FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it."
"Her text: I'm tanning. Call you when I'm done. My thoughts: SHE'S NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED"
"One of my grandfather's favorites. What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor? ""Ptui"""
"If the dove is the bird of peace what is the bird of true love? The swallow."
"Yesterday I saw an ad that said ""radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down"""
"Last night I got a handjob from a blind girl She said, ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said, ""nah, you're just pulling my leg."""
"*Wildebeest film crew clatters into David Attenborough's bedroom* ATTENBOROUGH: What the- WILDEBEEST DIRECTOR: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT DAVID"