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Joke of the Day
"Silence is golden but duct tape is silver."
Next Joke
"How's this for a magic trick: I sign into Twitter and my desire to do anything productive just disappears."
"Did you hear about the man who was sexually attracted to cars? He had an auto-erotic affixation."
"How do boats apologise? S**oar**ry!"
"(sure hope reddit doesn't hate racist jokes) What's the difference between a Jew and a dollar? I'd miss six million dollars!"
"Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies."
"Sometimes Jesus asks himself, ""What would some self-righteous hypocrite do?"""
"A dyslexic Sanders supporter was kicked out of the botanical gardens He kept trying to peel the ferns."
"""zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real"" - me, walking my dog at night"
"A salesman came to my door and tried to sell me a coffin. ""Nah, thats the last thing I'll need"""