1272

Joke of the Day

"After my surgery, the doctor told me I have to pee sitting down. He told me not to lift anything that weighs more than 10 pounds."

"""Hell, yes."" ...the devil answered the phone."

"What's better than roses on a piano? Two-lips on your organ"

"""Take Your Child to Work Day"" must be awkward at the dildo factory."

"Killed my first 8 point buck of the season! But it was with the front end of my truck so fuck my life..."

"There are two types of people. Those who have sex daily And those who don't have dyslexia"

"One of my lamps has a light bulb which has outlasted my past 7 relationships."

"2 guys are in a public bathroom One is white, and the other is black. The white guy says across the wall, ""This water is cold!"" to which the black guy replies, ""It's deep too!"""

"I recently rewatched The Lion King and just noticed how many metaphors there were... I guess you can say there was a whole lot of *Simba*-lism."

"I set my kid's dollhouse on fire then asked: DO YOU HAVE INSURANCE?! DOES BARBIE HAVE AN ESCAPE PLAN?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! Life lessons"