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Joke of the Day

"What's snoop dogg's favorite author? Tolkien."

"What does the average male have in common with a Velociraptor? They both have a six inch retractable claw."

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"

"I cry when I cut my carrots because I don't want my onions to feel awkward."

"Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here Taken 4 ~ Listen, We're Just As Surprised As You Are Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep..."

"I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!"

"How do you confuse a polish laborer? Lay down three shovels and tell him to take his pick."

"A world without women..... Would be a pain in the ass"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... Buh-dum-sch."

"Bi-Polar Bears usually attack without warning, then sob for hours while eating leftover walrus."