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Joke of the Day
"Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old."
Next Joke
"German Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? It seats 25."
"Judging by the size of her models, I'm guessing Victoria's Secret is lots and lots of cocaine."
"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."
"What type of humor did the heart attack survivor like? Offbeat."
"""My name will live forever!"" - Anonymous."
"Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter? There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste."
"Why are programmers bad at doing laundry? They throw all their dirty clothes on the heap."
"Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did"
"Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and- *chemistry set explodes* Mom: what was that?! God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*"