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Joke of the Day

"I was out of tanning oil once, so I used PAM Cooking Spray. The tan didn't stick."

"I'm only 19 and my eyesight is constantly getting worse. When do I get Adult Supervision?"

"I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours."

"How do you call the guy who immigrates to Saudi Arabia? Wannabee Wahhabi."

"I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night I hope it was the former, not the lather."

"What did the chinese guy tell the police when he was caught? You got the Wong guy."

"Donald Trump has begun work building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. It's called the wetback setback."

"What's the difference between a week-old human and a weak, old human? About eighty years"

"I'll bet Vampire Kiddies enjoy scabs as much as human Kids love pudding skin"

"[texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*"