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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma so homely... Elrond dwells there!"

"My Tylenol bottle says ""DO NOT TAKE IF SEAL NOT PRESENT."" Does anyone know how to contact him?"

"The real reason Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand was because he touched the thermostat"

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field."

"I think the 2016 Cubs would beat the 1908 Cubs. First, the 1908 Cubs are all dead. Second, the 2016 Cubs are all alive."

"Exaggerations... ...went up by a million percent last year."

"What's Obama's favorite thing to do on the weekend? Socialize"

"Paper is so terrible..."

"What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter? Shirley you can't be Sirius."

"My 95 year old grandpa was prescribed viagra... To stop him pissing on his slippers and rolling out of bed."