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Joke of the Day
"Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !"
Next Joke
"What do you call a friend who turns a wine glass into a candle holder? An acquaintance"
"What's the difference between a priest and a beard One comes on your face before your 13."
"""Your finest Scotch, please."" ""Yes, sir,"" the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape."
"""WE AREN'T SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I."" -- bad guys reaching for a weapon at the end of the movie"
"Want to hear a joke? Women's rights"
"On a first date: Her - So what do you do? Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers. Her - Wow, that's impressive! Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons."
"What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son? James Bonding bah dun tss"
"How do you surprise Helen Keller? Leave a plunger in the toilet."
"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet... ... and others wet themselves thinking no one would notice."