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Joke of the Day

"I went to a Pantheist forest yesterday. I tried to read the map, but all it said was, ""You are HERE"""

"How many non-delivering OPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus."

"Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet? Life is bullshit."

"The police arrested a prostitute in my neighborhood. She was so startled. I guess you could say she was caught with her pants down"

"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken Sedan!"

"I was going to buy tickets to see Michael McDonald in concert... ...but I keep forgetting"

"Did you hear about the Guitar Player who got arrested last week? He was caught fingering A minor."

"If Captain Obvious ever got an archenemy I would expect him to be named Major WTF Now that's one Major WTF. No kidding Captain Obvious."

"A guy and his girlfriend are talking Her: Come over. Him: I'm coming over. Her: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."