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Joke of the Day

"How many non-delivering OPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"A poster at the door of a church said, ""If you are tired of your sins, come in."" Someone used lipstick to write her number beneath it and added ""Call me, if not."""

"I'm told as a lady in my 30s I shouldn't wear certain things anymore - like halter tops, pigtails, and the scalps of my vanquished enemies."

"Someone just tweeted something vague that made me think a celeb had died so I googled ""dead."" No dice! Thank god---hang in there, celebs!"

"What does The Lion King have a lot of? Simbalism"

"I couldn't find you any new tampons. but I managed to pull a few strings..."

"Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames."

"A blind guy walks into a bar *thud*"

"Buddhist Pizza What kind of pizza does Buddha like? One with everything."

"I lost 15 pounds by moving my bathroom scales from a hard surface to carpet! Great success!"