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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a mouth and an asshole?..... Some people can't figure out which one to speak out of."

"I hate it when guys use pickup lines like, 'Hey, what's your friend's name?' on me. Worst pickup line ever."

"You can call me Vladimir. Because I'm going to be Putin it in your butt <3"

"There's a hole in the nudist camp wall... The police are looking into it."

"What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children? Fight for your right to padre"

"Does liking a sad status update mean I'm sympathetic for them or I like that they are sad?"

"I do my best speed walking when I'm trying to beat another customer to the checkout at the liquor store."

"My girlfriend walked up and said she is expecting... me to lose weight."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes says, ""I think not,"" and vanishes."

"Hi, I'm from Brazil and I can't go to the backyard, I'm afraid my german shepherd will laugh instead of bark at me..."