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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect changed ""meeting"" to ""mating"" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work."

"I'm going to hell. Q: whats the hardest part about cooking a vegetable A: getting the wheelchair into the oven edit: formating"

"the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bud ! Bud who ? Budweiser the King of Beers !"

"The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."

"My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues so we hit him..."

"my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck."

"Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America? A: ""Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!"""

"If Microwaves were people... They would be your one friend who always runs into something or knocks something down when you're trying to sneak into the house at 3 am."