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Joke of the Day
"I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan."
Next Joke
"She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed."
"I still remember what my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. ""I wonder how far I can kick this bucket"""
"What is Jesus' favorite mathematical operation? The Cross Product"
"Is your name Jingle Bells, cause you look like you go all the way"
"Last night I did Crossfit for the first time and now I understand why those people always look so angry."
"What do you call Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game? Homogeneous."
"Her: I think my IUD came loose and is floating around in there Me: C'mere, I drop my guitar pick in the sound hole all the time, no problem"
"extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain"
"*Dentistry school* Here's your final: *stabs student* Why is he bleeding ""Because you stabbed him?"" FAIL ""Because he doesn't floss"" CORRECT!"