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Joke of the Day

"I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not 3, because my basement is still dark."

"I asked Kanye West if he'd seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him of he'd seen Inception."

"My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative."

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing. Edit: ( )"

"Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon"

"How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk? It squats down on a Triceratops."

"Why did the gay vigilante get arrested? He tried to take down a budgie smuggler."

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar It was tense."

"What do you call a German living in Canada? A leder hoser."