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Joke of the Day

"Last night I did Crossfit for the first time and now I understand why those people always look so angry."

"I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist"

"Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win."

"My girlfriend's brain is going 24/7... Like a 7/11, not anyways doing business but it's always open."

"I'm not going to heaven because I'm afraid of heights."

"I was gonna make a gay joke.. ...butt fuck it."

"I spend 90% of my time in Texas doing u-turns under highway overpasses trying to get somewhere I can see but can't drive to for some reason."

"Why does Beyonce sing ""To the left, to the left""? Because black people have no rights."

"Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter? Because the shelter was non prophet."

"Joe: Hey Barack, why does Trump wanna ban preshredded cheese Barack: Joe please Joe: TO MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN Barack: I swear to God"