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Joke of the Day

"What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him? Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble."

"""Houston we ... are fine."" Female astronaut probably"

"I remember my first internet boyfriend. I was 13, he was 55. <3"

"Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?"

"My hands are really reliable I can always count on them."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"

"How many cross-dressers live near Manchester? Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address."

"What's the Italian word for suppository? innuendo"

"From Predator 2 ""The doctor says, 'I need a semen, stool and urine sample.' I say, 'Gee, doc, I'm in a big hurry, can I just leave my underwear?' """

"It's crazy how tornadoes know which states don't matter to us."