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Joke of the Day
"Never remove the shells from racing snails it makes them sluggish"
Next Joke
"Police vs Driver Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""
"What's the difference between a feminist and a battery? Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/how_many_feminists_does_it_take_to_change_a/"
"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"
"What do you call a criminal with an STD? A herpetrator."
"[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst"
"Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blond, too."
"If Taylor Swift wasn't a famous singer, I bet she'd be crazy fucking annoying on Facebook."
"Whats the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew Harry made it out of the chamber"
"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!"